So, Today is my Birthday…

photoHi all,

I know I have been gone for a while now.  To be honest, I find it hard to keep up with the blog and my YouTube channel at the same time. Mind you, I still work two jobs, have a life and go to school! *Shrug*.  I need to prioritize my life, in order to keep the blog alive.

In any case, I really wanted to write a post.  I turn 23 today. However, I no longer “celebrate” my birthday. January, in general, is a really tough month for me.  My father passed away 3 years ago. I was really close to him, so it is still extremely hard for me to deal with it.  I usually refrain from doing ANYTHING that entire month. I know it might not be healthy, but it is how I express my grief. He passed away between January 12 and January 17, 2010. How can that be, you might wonder.

Remember that massive earthquake that took place in Haiti in 2010? Well, my dad was one of the unfortunate souls that passed away. He was at work when it happened. He worked downtown Port-Au-Prince and the building collapsed with him trapped inside. We, my family and I, were so hopeful until the very end. On January 17th, after 5 days of digging through the rumbles, my mom finally found his body. I never got to see it nor have I been to his funeral. My mom buried him the same day as the body was already in such bad shape. She didn’t want to wait for us to make travel arrangement as planes were barely flying in Haiti at that point. My mom was fortunate enough to even be able to bury him because there we no more spots to bury anyone in a cemetery. She was reserving this spot for my grandmother, who was sick at the time, so she was able to use it for my father.

Needless to say, I lost part of me that week. I was bitter for the longest time. Out of all the people that survived, why couldn’t he? Maybe God works in mysterious ways, but the pain that I felt then and still feels now is truly inexplicable. I remember being so angry then, yet devastated at the same time. I was angry at God, simply put. How can he allow something like this?  I just couldn’t stop thinking about all the families that were affected, all the people mourning, and an entire country in so much pain! I’ve learn to let my anger go, however, or it would have just taken over me. I learned to trust God, as he wouldn’t put us through anything that we wouldn’t be able to handle.

I don’t think I will ever be able to celebrate another birthday while dealing with something like this. To be honest, I just try to keep myself busy. I made my first YouTube video back in January 12, 2010 in order to take my mind off of things. I never really speak about my experience but today, I’ve decided to share it with you all.

Thank you for reading!

..xo

-J

 

Jenn

Jenn

Hi My name is Jennifer and I am a Haitian/Canadian who is into beauty and photography. I hope that you enjoy my blog and don't be shy :) xo

18 Comments

  1. so sorry to hear about your father’s passing…but i don’t think your dad would have wanted you to get down like that. i’m sure he loved you wholeheartedly but life had to go on. i’ve lost someone very close to me and i will always remember them but your life shouldn’t stop. even for a moment.
    sometimes that is the common outlet to just be angry with GOD when things don’t go our way or the unexpected happens but know that GOD always has our BEST interest. i will say a prayer for you and i hope that reading this something touches your heart to let GOD direct your life and even when life unexpectedness happen GOD is the one to pull you through and when you look back, you will see how much stronger you are from it.
    *smile*

    • Thanks so much to the encouraging words. Yes, I have learned to trust God along the way. You are right, challenges only makes us stronger. Thanks again 🙂

  2. ma apologiez…HAPPY belated BIRTHDAY 2 YOU!!
    may the good Lord continue to bless you with many, Many, MANY MORE!
    *smile*

  3. You have an inspiration story! God bless you, truly.
    ‘I just found your youtube channel, and I truly think it is my new favourite. As we have similiar hair stories, i do not think i will need to watch any other channels now, lol.
    I decided to check out your blog, which I LOVE! I am not really a “commenter”, but i just wanted to say thank you!

    • Aww wow, thank you so so much, I appreciate it. Thanks a lot for the comment too, it means a lot and I hope you become a “commenter” from now on! xo

  4. I’m so sorry about your loss. I can only imagine what you go through every year. Keep your head up, God never gives us more than we are able to handle, even if it seems like it at the time.

    I love you blog. Sorry it took me so long to check it out 🙂

  5. Wow, what a heart breaking situation. I can totally see why January would be such a hard month for you. Stay strong and positive. Happy belated!

  6. Omg, im very sorry for your loss! We kind of have (like milion of haitians i guess) the same story as my dad was also in Haiti during that terrible event. Fortunately he was okay but reading your article tears started pouring on my keyboard… i was like putting myself in your shoes and i dont know what i would have become if I were you. But thanks God you are keeping your head high, and enjoying life… and now that your dadis never far, he is in a better place and still keeping an eye on you. & I understand why january is a bad month for you, cause its the same for me too… (last ; sorry for my poor english lol !)

    • Your english is not poor! Thank you for reading. It was and still is very difficult but really try to stay strong. xo

  7. I never realized you were Haitian! #TeamHaiti I know what you mean by devastated although my dad survived the earthquake he passed away due to health problems just a year ago. It still is crazy and unreal that he is gone, but I carry him with me each and every day. We all grieve in our own way so do what works for you. I think you’ve taken a big step in healing by just sharing your story with your audience! Hopefully you spent your bday month to your liking!

  8. Hi Jenn, I really enjoy your videos. So sorry to hear about your dad, talking about it helps make it easier. Just wanted to share something encouraging from the bible. The bible tells that God is never the one to bring harm on us at James 1:13 and we can have the chance to see our dead loved ones again. That is shown in the resurrection hope at John 5 : 28 & 29. For further bible questions visit jw.org. Thanks again for sharing your natural hair journey, it’s very helpful.

    • Hi Nichola,
      Thanks so much for the words of wisdom. I really appreciate it. I am glad I can help by sharing my hair journey. It makes it so much more worth it. xo

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